Trapped in sexual bondage

Sensing that his days on earth were numbered a certain man approached me and confessed, “Kana Mwari variko sezvinorehwa nevanhu, ndinoziva chivi chavachanditonga nacho. Hachizi chivi chekuponda kana kuzvikudza asi  ndecheupombwe. (If ever God is there in heaven as they say, I know what sin He will convict me of. It is neither murder nor pride.  It is the sin of sexual immorality.)
I looked steadfastly at him and suddenly a movie of his “games” I had witnessed began to replay in my mind. I knew he was not kidding. He meant it. I had known him for a short period of time and I had seen him take his neighbour’s wife. He impregnated a number of ladies and dumped them. At one time he was beaten severely in the night by a soldier whose wife he had seduced.
Surely, he had messed up, where his sexual life was concerned. His confession of sin was sincere but I felt helpless. I knew deep in my heart that he was facing the dreadful prospect of meeting His Creator but I had no idea how to help him out. I was young in the faith then. I did not know that his confession was a sign of being ready for salvation. He eventually died but whether he got saved or not before his last breath remains Heaven’s secret.
His bondage to sexual sin was not without precedent.
Even in the Bible, recorded cases of sexual perversion abound. Solomon had 300 wives and 700 concubines. Incest was a regular feature in the Old Testament days. At Corinth gross immorality was witnessed, not among the unbelievers, but among the very brethren in Christ.
And today, sexual lust and lasciviousness (lack of moral restraint) catch and hold many people in sexual bondage. Freedom from sexual sin is one of the hardest goals to achieve. Most of our social, spiritual and medical solutions to sexual bondage zero in on behavioural change.
The medical experts emphasise use of protection while preachers warn captives of sexual lust of hellfire. These methods are not wrong but they sort of deal with the periphery instead of the core of the problem. I think there is acute need to address the root causes and not just dabble at the symptoms.
The main root cause is the false belief that we can meet our own needs apart from God. If we believe God does not really know our needs and how to satisfy them, then estrangement is inevitable for no man can consistently behave in a way that is inconsistent with the way he believes.
If a man believes the societal subverted value that a real man is defined by his sexual exploits then you can bet what will become of him — a sexual pervert. A venturesome spirit that controls most men must be exercised on something else but not on the sex field because return may not be possible. The devil’s lie that “stolen water is sweet, and food eaten in secret tastes the best” (Proverbs 9:17) must be renounced if we ever hope to break free from sexual bondage. Lust leads us into the trap of the devil.
 Men’s lust is sexual; unhealthy desire for sex to the point of having extra-marital affairs.
Women’s lust is for material gain. The fusion of these two lusts results in permanent sexual bondage. To reverse the bondage we must change our beliefs first. Our thoughts and imagination must be renewed and fed with the holy word of God.
Apostle Paul knew the heart of our problems when he prescribed thinking on things that are pure, good, praise worthy etc (Philippians 4:8). The Lord unequivocally pointed out that our hearts are our traitors when he said that a man is defiled by what comes out of his heart. Our change for the better must be inside out.
Of course, other factors like satanic influence, sexual spirits, generational curses, wrong exposure to sex through rape, poverty and violation of conjugal rights may significantly contribute to sexual perversion.
But the main reason why we get trapped in sexual bondage and remain there is that we hold faulty belief systems about meeting our needs. If the belief system is faulty, obviously the behaviour will be faulty as well. Thus to change a wrong behaviour, we must first change our belief system.
Our opening verse offers the best solution; we must run from sexual sin. The running away must first be done in our minds and then physically. Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife.
Other temptations can be overcome by just quoting the word but sexual temptations require fleeing in addition to scripture quoting.
– Feedback: call 0772 889 766 or e-mail mairos78@yahoo.co.uk