Celebrating virtue in girls

In the the last two weeks we have been talking about mombe yehumai/inkomo yohlanga. In lobola/bride price there is yet another stand-alone cow called mombe yechimanda or mombe yechimandamanda that is paid if the bride was a virgin. Some people confuse this cow with mombe yehumai/inkomo yohlanga but these are two different cows. Mombe yehumai/inkomo yohlanga is sacred while mombe yechimanda has no spiritual value. It is a celebration of virginity.

When the father of the bride charges, for example 10 cattle, this does not include mombe yechimanda because at that point virginity has not yet been established. It does not matter if the boy was responsible for breaking the girl’s virginity when they were dating. The girl is supposed to have been a virgin up to the time she is handed over to her new family (kupereka). This can happen months after the initial bride price has been  paid. The virginity is confirmed by a third party, being the aunt of the bride, through what happens to the white sheet she provides to the groom on the first night.

Nowadays there are Western-style weddings and honeymoons in hotels. Upon return, the aunt gives the groom a folded piece of material. If the bride was a virgin then the groom returns it still folded. If not, then he cuts a hole in the centre and returns it to the aunt.

There is yet another recent scenario of “electronic transfer marriages” where both the bride and the groom are living abroad or one is abroad and the other one follows later. The aunt here will just have to stand her ground and insist that the bride is a virgin.

When the son-in-law is ready, a date is set aside for the ceremony that is conducted at the wife’s parents’ home. Everyone is invited, from the husband and the wife’s side including neighbours and friends. It is a party and at the end of the ceremony the remaining meat is distributed to each family that is present, as take-away, so that people can spread the word that she was a virgin.

Mombe yechimanda is not sacred and therefore the son-in-law can be reminded if payment is overdue, unlike in the case of mombe yehumai/inkomo yohlanga which is not followed up — “the cow will follow-up on its own”

Mbuya VaChinjanja Muroro is a Development Practitioner with a passion for Cultural Heritage and can be reached at mbuyavachinjanjamuroro@gmail.com