How do you handle criticism?

The Bible has a lot to say about handling criticism, rebuke, discipline and correction that come our way.  Scriptures dwell more on the reactionary side of handling criticism than on the offensive side of criticising others because though man can be wooed he cannot be compelled to do good towards others. You cannot fully control other people’s behaviour but you can control yours. There are positive and negative ways of handling criticism regardless of whether the criticism is constructive or destructive. Let us explore the wrong ways of handling criticism first and then give suggestions on how to effectively and profitably handle criticism.      
Most people cannot stand criticism or any other hard things of life. To cope with criticism or hard things of life they develop defence mechanisms or mental strongholds. But the main problems with these mechanisms are that they are not consistent with Christianity and are not always mentally and emotionally healthy. Firstly, some people have learnt to deny facts when criticised.
Denial is a conscious or subconscious refusal to face the truth. For example, most people who meet the following remark usually deny it. “You do not look cool in that pair of jeans. It is low cut and it uncovers your back when you stand up about to get off from a car.” Some people normally deny it saying, “You are old-fashioned and you do not know what is in vogue these days. Actually, this pair of jeans fit me like my skin.” That is denial. True the low cut jeans are in fashion but it is a fact that they expose part of the body.
Another defence mechanism used by people when criticised is anger. To the above remark hot-tempered people will tell you off saying, “Hey, leave me alone. How I dress is none of your business.” Lashing out at those who comment on you is not the best response.
Other people tend to tell lies when criticised so as to shield off the painful criticism. Instead of facing the truth and admitting their weakness or oversight they try to restore other people’s confidence in themselves by telling lies. Misrepresentation of facts or prevaricating is not the right of way of receiving criticism.
Rationalisation or making excuse for poor behaviour is another way people use to evade criticism. Trying to explain things in order to justify your poor behaviour is wrong. A son-in-law who gives his mother-in-law a tongue lash cannot, in the face of criticism, defend himself by saying that he was under the influence of alcohol.
When I was a young boy I used to withdraw from those who loved to criticise me of my behaviour. This is called, by psychologists, emotional insulation. I avoided my critics by withdrawing from them. It was not the best way because I could not withdraw from the forever. One day I was criticised for not sharing bird meat with my siblings and I threw it away in anger and began to blame the sister who had rebuked me for being selfish. My bad behaviour that day was part of a defence mechanism called projection. Projection involves blaming others for your bad behaviour.
Other defence mechanisms people use in order to ward off criticism are fantasy (escaping from the real world), regression (reverting to less threatening times), and displacement (taking out frustrations on others). Which one do you often use? You need counselling and discipline to overcome those mental strongholds. Mental strongholds are normally overcome by discipline (renewal of the mind through applying the word of God) and not by casting out demons because they are fleshly patterns developed over time. The following knowledge may start you on the right path of handling criticism properly.
The right way to handle criticism is accepting it graciously and politely rather than defending yourself or becoming angry. Criticism, whether constructive or destructive, loses its bite if you just say, “thank you.” Then when you are in private give a careful thought about the criticism to find out if the criticism was constructive (meant for your good) or destructive (meant to harm you). If it was meant to harm you then just discard it but if it was meant for your good adopt it and correct yourself.
 Do not be a fool that resents discipline, correction and criticism. Proverbs commends a person who accepts criticism, discipline and correction as a wise person. It is well to adopt Paul’s principle of a clear conscience in all things mentioned in 1 Corinthians 4:4. He said, “My conscience is clear, but that does not make innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.”
A clear conscience comes along the line of being careful not to criticise others destructively and handling criticism graciously.
– For prayer and counselling call 0772889766 or e-mail: mairos78@yahoo.co.uk