Results, results, results!

(What’s love got to do with
it with Ruth Chigubu)

This past week has been quite daunting for a lot of families, with the Ordinary and Advanced level results coming out. However, times such as these have a way of amplifying closeness and unity of purpose  between couples and among families. As parents we are quite apprehensive and want the best for our kids. For most parents it was as if it was you who had written the exams, the anxiety and a sense of “not so sure” around the house. It took me back memory lane to when I did my O Levels. Back then it was drummed in us that passing O Level was fundamental, failure was not an option. O Level was the platform on which your whole life rested on. You needed to get your five O Levels at least and you dared not fail, lest you embarass the family. I remember that if you passed you automatically became “dad’s child” but if you failed you were labeled “mother’s child” Family dynamics were shaken with a child’s passing or failing. Of course some dynamics have changed with time.

My eldest daughter just got her O level results, well if truth be said we kind of knew that she would pass but just not sure how well. So you can imagine my shock when she came out with string of As and Bs in subjects I never mastered in my time and even getting passes in foreign languages. Wow the kids of today!! I got on my knees and thanked God for such favour. I was left thinking “wow” this child, my child is brilliant and I never knew. How much do we not know about our better half, it takes an event such as this to really open our eyes and see beyond the obvious, recognise or acknowledge the talent within, the extra-ordinary. My daughter is surely extra-ordinary. I am left with a sense of an overwhelming feeling of overly protectiveness.

We experience a shift in family dynamics, as parents we bond even more when such happens. We are unified in giving thanks and in planning whats next for this girl of ours. The other siblings can not get over big Sis, what with such a high achievement, the extended family and friends keep the congratulations pouring in and as a mother I find myself giving in to all she wants….after-all she has exceled beyond our expectations…right or wrong?
There is a sense of pressure too, will she maintain the same standard….of course she will!!However other families are in dilemma, what to do when a child has not made it. Mother and father at logger-heads on decision making. Back in the day, you were packed off to a mission boarding school and the parents were guaranteed of a pass, at least  five Cs. However, today with so much exposure and many options available it is widely appreciated to excel in other facets such as sport, look at the William Sisters, Tiger Woods and closer to home we have Taibu in cricket, the Blacks  in tennis and our very own legend Tuku in the entertainment field. School is more holistic in its approach and children are being encouraged to explore their talents. The parents are very encouraging and spurring their kids on.
Well done to those that made it and don’t give up to those who did not do as well as expected. The key is not in giving up but try and try some more.
-Ruth Chigubu is freelance writer and businesswoman based in Harare. She can be reached on ruthchigubu@yahoo.com