What’s your signature look?

By the time you get to forty, there are some things you should know. Otherwise what have you been doing all this time? You can’t possibly have been cruising on auto-pilot. You must have been noting, realising, discovering, picking up some patterns and trends about yourself and your own life, likes and dislikes, inclinations and disinclinations among a host of other peculiarities about you.

Like for example you should know what kind of clothes look best on you; what cuts and styles flatter you and your figure and contours; what shades enhance your natural colouring. You should also know, by the time you are forty, which hairstyles sit well on you, which do not; in as much as you should also know your likes and dislikes and preferences and non-preferences about dressing, grooming and deportment in general. What your signature look is should be clear to you and no longer be a guessing phenomena.

In like manner you should also know what type of friends you like, and which people rub you the wrong way and deal with them accordingly. By the time you are forty and are in a marital relationship, for those that are married, or some other dating relationship for those yet to marry or out of wedlock for whatever reason, you must know what you like or do not like in your partner and how to co-exist with it.

Assuming you have been with your spouse or partner for some time, by the time you are forty you should also try to be in the know about what makes that other person tick and what makes you tick. Talking about what makes you tick, you should be on the up and up about what rubs you the wrong way, what rocks your boat romance-wise and what ticks the hell out of you.

By the time you are forty you should also have wisened up to some ways of the world.  You would have been tricked a time or two; you would have been disappointed plenty of times and  have had your heart broken at least once. You would have both known and served betrayal; you would have known kindness and cruelty and, most of all, you should be able to distinguish right from wrong. You would have given and received each of these at one time or another.

Even at work, by the time you reach forty you should have some idea of what kind of professions or jobs work best with your kind of gifting, talents or skills and experience. You should also be in a position to appreciate which church provides you the spiritual home you need for spiritual growth and nourishment. You should also be in a position to know when to trust and when not to trust. You should be able to distinguish between love and lust, friendship and romance; professional and personal.

You are not always going to be right.  You can’t always understand stuff and you are never going to be on top of the situation always, but the point is by the time you are forty, you should know yourself well enough.  You can always re-invent yourself or rebrand yourself should you choose, but know yourself. If you have not used those 40 years to discover who you really are, then you missed a lot my sister, my brother. By the time you are forty you should know yourself sufficiently and ought to have determined and developed your signature  look, signature hairstyle and signature scent when it comes to perfumes and colognes. Your identity should not be in doubt when you are forty. Where do you stand?

The Fabulous Forties column is for all readers: readers in their forties;  readers who were in their forties and who care to remember what it was like; and those readers still looking ahead to their forties and would like a foretaste.

Contact: maggiemzumara@yahoo.ie