Kerrygan’s needs some TLC to regain its former glory

If you have made oodles of money over the years, in ways at which many Zimbos are adept, and are reluctant to take the advice of our homegrown economists by investing in US dollars, think twice before investing in the restaurant business, unless you are prepared to be a “hands on” owner.
 Clients look forward to seeing the familiar face of a friendly owner or maitre d’hôtel in their favourite restaurant, and come to think of this person as one of their very best friends. (This feeling may not always be reciprocal.)
Another advantage of being on the spot is the ability to maintain stocks and to ensure that the ingredients required to create the advertised special of the day, actually exist on the pantry shelves. It goes without saying that in addition you’ll always be able to eat your favourite foods.
Celebrity chefs and entrepreneurs open restaurants in large cities, in fashionable seaside resorts and in glitzy hotels all over the world, Dubai and Cape Town included.
Taking on more than they can handle, and faced with the recession, they eventually reduce their portfolios, and if they are lucky enough to have a core business, will concentrate on that.
A few years ago, Honeydew Farm in Greendale was one of the most popular places in Harare to shop for fruit and vegetables. A small village grew up around Honeydew: after buying a week’s supply of Chinese cabbage, farm fresh potatoes and onions and a pocket of sweet Mazoe oranges, one could move seamlessly to the next door plant nursery and stock up on flowering shrubs, healthy seedlings and numerous gardening aids.
After visiting the adjoining pharmacy for medicine and beauty products, one crossed a grassy playground for children and climbed the rustic wooden steps to a large wooden lodge. Here could be found all types of camping equipment ranging from Swiss army knives to mosquito nets and six-man tents.
Completing the circuit, and most popular destination of all, was Kerrygans Coffee Shop.
Kerrygans opened for breakfast, morning coffee, lunch and afternoon tea, and in good times was packed with customers. From mid-day, queues would form, winding from the front door, past the tree ferns and ground covers in the nursery, all the way back to the car park. A few years ago, a fire swept through this idyllic village.
Some amenities, including Kerrygans, were re-built and restored to their former glory. But somehow, Kerrygans seems to have lost its popularity.
Once bustling with farmers in from the countryside to drop off produce, business people meeting over a lunchtime snack, or friends passing the time of day over a slice of carrot cake and a cappuccino, the polished tables and cane armchairs now stand empty.
Last Friday I decided to visit Kerrygans, to find out what was what.
I invited Norma, a well-travelled friend and member of the International Wine and Food Society, to join me for lunch. The only patron in the restaurant at 1 pm, I waited a few minutes until Norma’s arrival. Our waiter was helpful and pleasant, but unable to supply our order for Malawi Shandies, as Sprite and Tonic were both out of stock. So we had Coke out of a can, costing US$1.
A blackboard menu by the front door listing specials of the day, advertised Portuguese chicken. When I asked our waiter to describe the dish, he placed his hands upon his chest, and said it was made using the chicken breast.
Only the Chef, he said, could describe the flavouring and method that made it “Portuguese”. But when he returned from the kitchen he regretfully informed us that chicken was off the menu, as there was no Portuguese chicken spice in the pantry.
 Our next choice was Kariba bream, but our waiter (who was also the only waiter) returned from the kitchen looking downcast, as bream was apparently also off the menu.
Norma, a stickler for good service, asked to see the manageress, to explain why so many advertised items were unavailable. The manageress, a very pleasant personality, apologised profusely, and promised that on our next visit everything would be in stock.
 Eventually Norma ordered chicken stir-fry served on a bed of rice (US$7) and I settled for a toasted ham and cheese sandwich with salad and game chips (US$3). The toastie was well made, without a trace of grease, the lettuce, tomato and carrot salad fresh and crisp, and the game chips quite delicious.
 This saved the day for me, as the slice of apple crumble I had to follow was counting the last seconds of its shelf life, and the milk for my coffee was sour.
Our ever-helpful waiter brought fresh milk for the tea and coffee, and deeply regretted that there was no cream for the apple crumble, and that none could be bought from Honey Dew’s dairy counter next door.
The filter coffee was hot and fragrant, which counted for several points in my overall assessment of the meal.
The décor at Kerrygans is appealing, the white tableware attractive, and dried flower arrangements on each table are pretty enough. But the waiter needs to be kitted out in a new uniform and management must ensure that the kitchen is able to produce the meals advertised on the menu.  With a little more effort, Kerrygans could start to regain much of its former popularity.
Kerrygans Coffee Shop,
16 Greendale Avenue, Greendale.
– Comments to: cmalakoff@gmail.com