Restoring a nation’s dignity

Until, to his massive credit, and much to my delight, he told an interviewer last weekend it’s not a sin to have high hopes for his new government.
And so I wrote down my biggest wish, which is that my people may once again get their dignity back.
This week, I read a report in an Australian paper, saying Zimbabwe is “arguably the most destitute country in the world”. It’s a really ignorant, dumb statement to make, even for an Australian.
But let’s be honest, we have run our country back a few ages. How can we restore our dignity? By sorting out the big issues, of course. But how would we know we are succeeding? By taking care the small, seemingly unimportant, conveniences and freedoms.
First, Mr Prime Minister, set an example for these ZANU-PF people by declaring your assets, and encouraging your ministers to declare theirs.
In the 1980s, when our leaders were developing a taste for fine wines while the rest of us were still naively parroting socialist slogans and drinking Tarino, we tried to get leaders to declare our assets. No success.
Now, let’s clean the slate and clear the rumours about offshore properties and so forth.
Another small request. They say your national TV station reflects who you are as a nation. I won’t say what the SABC says about South Africans. Who are we to judge?
But I will say this of the ZBC and us. If the ZBC really does reflect our society, we’ve got some work to do.
 And sadly, I really do think ZBC does reflect who we are as a people; narrow-minded, intolerant, backward — and terrible at pronunciation.
When our national station gets hooked on words like “castigated”, we have a problem. Don’t we all like to “castigate” those we disagree with? It’s a national sport.
And, while we are at it, in this new era, can we please stop inventing words like whyleast (whilst), sefity (safety),  devorlpment (development), Misti (Mister). Our children are not in school, so TV is teaching them.
We had TV long before our neighbours south of the river. And most Malawians saw a TV for the first time in 1994.
So, for us to have only one station, in 2009, makes us look like a nation of cavemen.
Restore our freedoms, Mr PM. The little freedoms matter. Look, can’t I be free to wear my camouflage shorts without fear?
I was at Glamis listening last week. The biggest cheer came when you promised evil serpents, sorry, civil servants, US dollar salaries. Well, we would all rather use Zimdollars, to be honest, just as long as they can afford us more than just a headache.
Forget the donors, especially Gordon Brown. They say they will wait until they see this or that happen before they give us money. Nonsense. The truth is they are all broke. We have to do this on our own.
The last Cabinet tried their best. Hills were climbed on our behalf, n’angas consulted. But I would like to hear a real plan from our new Finance Minister as to how the dignity of our currency can realistically be restored.
How will I tell that my dignity is being restored? When I can again borrow money at the bank, even for no reason. And when I can again buy socks at Edgars, on credit, and in Zimdollars.
And when I can buy Zimbabwean products, I will know national pride is on the mend. I want to buy Red Seal, not this Iwisa “not-for-under-12s” South African powder. Perfection soap, not Elangeni. Jade, not some of that smelly stuff from some factory in Pochefstroom or some such funny place. Olivine. Willards, not Lays or Simba chips. Dairibord, not Clover. I need Sunjam. I’m choking on Bokomo. I demand Tanganda.
Removing duty on imported foodstuffs is not good news. What would be is the removal of duty on equipment and inputs, to restore our own industries, our dignity. Senator Coltart, I don’t figure you for a soccer man. But, please, do something about the Warriors. Seriously.
This is important. And please, Senator, could you find out what’s really been happening at the National Sports Stadium.
If your national team performs badly as ours does, your image in the eyes of your detractors suffers.
The other weekend, I went to watch the Under 20s play Malawi. The Malawians, they who only started watching TV in 1994, had a far better kit than our boys’. This is important.
The boys visibly felt inadequate. They are representing the nation, and when Henrietta clothes them like runaway slaves or cotton pickers at Baas van der Merwe’s farm, their pride, in themselves and in their country, is hurt. These appear to be little things, but they are really important.
Our country has become a by-word for failure. Our exiled professionals face humiliation. Ignorant commentary on Zimbabwe is now stated as fact. We have opened ourselves to ridicule. But now, we have a chance to take back our dignity.
Restoring our economy is obviously the biggest task now. With it, must be the task of restoring a nation’s dignity.