When the hunted becomes the hunter

(What’s love got to do
 with it with Ruth Chigubu)

It was instilled in me growing up that you don’t chase after the opposite sex and we were brought up to be prim and proper, speak only when spoken to and dare not make eye contact (in case you fall pregnant) yes, can you imagine, eyes and pregnancy … lol. My daughter laughs and thinks mum was born in the dark ages, she probably is right but I certainly prefer the dark ages to this technological era.
Dating in the so called “dark ages “was simplified, dignified and would eventually lead to, in most cases, a lasting union between the two. Getting pregnant was a death sentence and had disastrous consequences for both parties. Right or wrong, this could be why a lot of us ended up in unions that don’t serve the purpose and are somehow stifling us today. We want to run but somehow we are stuck….kids, bills, even the house we habit in ends up holding us prisoners.

Today the Hunted has become the Hunter, yes girls, you are now hunting for the man you want. You have no qualms about telling a guy that you fancy him and the men somehow find women who are aggressive, bold and speak their mind to be quite attractive. Whatever happened to prim and proper?

Are the men comfortable with being hunted? It is in their genetic make-up to hunt. It is what makes them MEN. They must hunt for the woman they want to marry, the mother of his children; must hunt to provide for the same family. What are we sisters doing when we take hunting away from our men? What are we teaching our sons? We are going against nature. Could it be one of the reasons why there is so much chaos in relationships today, the high divorce rates, trial separations and broken homes? I think we need to be clear about our roles and responsibilities within the relationship and the fact that men are the hunters. Besides let’s admit sisters we love being hunted, we get excited when the man is chasing after us. It carries such a thrill. Our hormones are triggered and we respond accordingly.

However, the reverse is not true, we crush and the whole world stops when he does not pick up our phone or respond to our hundred texts in just ten minutes, we call one after the other and are quick to call for help from fellow sisters. We anticipate the worst and breathe a sigh of relief when eventually there is a long awaited response. There are sisters out there who will hunt and get what they want and are playing the man at his game…..hunting!

With the same token that is how “Smally” (small house) ends up hunting the man ,my husband, and ends up creating all sorts of drama and hell. The reason why “Smally” ends up calling on my landline is because there is trouble in paradise and the expectations have shifted. This woman will hunt the man down to drive a point across at whatever cost. If we feel threatened we tend to hunt them down albeit showing how insecure we are. Some sisters go as far as following their men to the pubs and having show downs in public. Sister please!!!!

Should we blame it on the net, exposure, education, womens lib why today women are comfortable to approach and hunt for the man they want.
– Ruth Chigubu is freelance writer and businesswoman based in Harare. She can be reached on ruthchigubu@yahoo.com