Wild Geese not so pizzazz after all

This tent, which is surely a rival to the palatial tents that accompany Colonel Gaddafi on state visits, is a permanent fixture and even has plumbed in loos, with tiled floors.
After checking out some of Zimbabwe’s best lodges and hotels, and admiring the latest land cruiser on the Toyota Zimbabwe stand, we sipped aperitifs of Amarula and rose wine, and sat down for lunch in the dining area of the grand tent.
The table looked attractive with its spotless white tablecloth and pink protea arranged in a chunky glass vase. Waiter service was friendly and efficient and our calamari salads were served promptly and with great style.
I have eaten calamari in Maputo, Mauritius, Venice and in Santa Monica, but I have to say that the calamari served in the tent at Wild Geese was by far the most delicious.
Tender yet crunchy, the calamari steaks were rolled, crumbed and deep fried, and served atop a mixed salad of Iceberg lettuce, cucumber, tomato, red onion rings, parsley and cilantro. Spoonfuls of a delicious, creamy salad dressing garnished the salad, like brush strokes from one of Monet’s masterpieces.
Last Sunday, hoping for a repeat performance, I persuaded George that it was essential for our well being to try out the Sunday buffet at Wild Geese Lodge. We both considered that US$25 a head was excessive, maybe even OTT. But in the interests of the ‘eating out public at large’ we bit the bullet and made a reservation.
All was quiet at the grand tent beneath the trees, and tables were set up on the lodge verandah and under umbrellas on the smooth green lawn.
An attentive waiter brought us double soda waters with ice (no drinking straws available) and deftly opened our bottle of Nederburg Duet.
The first course, delicious zucchini soup with croutons, was served at the table. A starter platter, also brought to the table, followed this. Onion rings tempura, goujons of fish and meat balls were served with a mayo dip and yoghurt and cucumber.
While the starter platter was quite adequate, it lacked pizzazz, and I realised that the ‘lifestyle calamari experience’ was not going to be repeated.
Our waiter said that Chef Muk (Mukadota? Mukatiwa?) was off duty, but that the other chefs were very capable.
We stood in line for the main course buffet of roast beef, grilled chicken pieces, steamed vegetables, rice, potatoes and salad.
Gravy was served with a ladle from a glass water jug. The roast beef was fine and the cauliflower, carrots, green beans and baby marrow were steamed perfectly al dente.
But there was no Yorkshire pudding and no horseradish sauce, and the gravy had a different flavour and colour from that of the beef. So the main course, like the starter platter, was adequate but unexciting.
Eternally optimistic, I imagined that the dessert buffet would offer a variety of delicious puddings, all to be sampled at leisure.
But our waiter brought us two small bowls, one with two scoops of vanilla ice cream, the other holding a chocolate brownie and a small square of apple crumble. There was also a miniature bowl of custard.
George immediately asked for two more scoops of ice cream, and we carefully divided the two puddings between us.
The puddings were tasty, but there was no choice, and the servings were small. And it didn’t help that the dessert bowls bore a striking resemblance to the family mog’s milk saucer.
When I go out for lunch, especially when I’m paying $25 a head, I don’t want adequate. I want amazing and exceptional.
But most of all, I want good value. It will be a long wait until next year’s Innsider Lifestyle Expo.
Wild Geese Lodge
Buckland Lane (off Alpes Road)
Teviotdale
Tel: 2930379
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